Having a baby in hospital often involves many different doctors and midwives, it is busy and your wishes are not always respected or heard. This is a common story. Because of this you and/or your support person must be prepared to say what you want and need and what you DO NOT want in pregnancy, birth and postpartum.

There is a mountain of research on birth-related trauma that comes from what is said or done to mothers and birthing parents without proper informed consent. The NSW Parliamentary Inquiry into Birth Trauma saw nearly 5,000 submission of birth trauma in NSW alone describing trauma related to decisions being made without proper discussion. .

Chances are that if something doesn’t feel right in the way you are treated or the care you receive, it is NOT right.

We have been socialised to please people and may go along with things we don’t actually want to avoid being seen as difficult. We may freeze when information is discussed and it is only afterwards that we realise we want something different to what we agreed to .

It is therefore perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed about speaking up for yourself and your baby. We are told to trust our maternity health professionals even though they are working under pressure, needing to ‘manage risks’ or eliminate them all together.

Everyone comes to pregnancy and birth differently, we all have different communication styles. Having someone you know and trust to support your decisions is essential.

Know how you make decisions under pressure gives you a clue on how to deal with situations that arise that you might not feel prepared for during pregnancy and birth.

Select the maternity care that suits your style of decision-making - whether it is shared care, a private midwife or hiring a doula... If your preferred choice of care provider is beyond your financial capacity or you don’t have access to the care you want, self-advocacy becomes more important.

Talk about your concerns with your care provider is sometimes enough and your concerns will be addressed. But what if they aren’t? What if you feel that you aren’t being heard and you don’t know what to do next?

You have many options to seek support and drive changes that can benefit how you are supported and cared for, and hopefully how others are cared for too. We have written a 4 step cheat sheet if you find yourself in a situation where you aren’t being heard and need support.